I Rather Die Happy Than Live Miserably

I had my first physical in over 30 years about three years ago.

I think being hospitalized three times in my life created a phobia of doctors. 

I also believe that immaturity, laziness, and a carefree attitude contributed to the neglect of my health.

But all of that changed when I witnessed my father's health begin to decline.

His death, the birth of my grandson, and, I guess, the maturity that comes with getting older and wiser made me realize that I needed to take my health more seriously.

I remember being nervous during and after my first physical. Waiting for the results of my blood work and urine tests drove me crazy for a few days.

I wouldn't have been surprised if I had received a phone call from my doctor telling me that I needed to be rushed to the hospital. 

That's how paranoid I was!

When I finally received the results of my physical, I wasn't surprised, but truthfully, I expected the results to be much worse.

The results showed that I had high blood pressure and high cholesterol, a fatty liver, and elevated PSA levels. 

I was also prediabetic and, based on my weight at the time, was considered obese.

I knew I was fat. Mirrors don't lie!

I love joking around, so I remember what I said when the doctor told me I had high blood pressure.

"I'm married. What married man doesn't have high blood pressure?"

Our main concern, however, was my elevated PSA level, which required further investigation.

I'll save that part of the story for another blog.

Ever since that first physical, I've been doing everything in my power to control my high blood pressure, lower my cholesterol, improve my fatty liver, and lose weight.

Although I must admit that losing weight has been a struggle, I'm proud to say that my blood pressure is now under control.

It also turns out that my prostate is three times the size it should be.

Again, I'll share that experience in my next blog.

I'm proud of myself because it seems I've finally overcome my phobia of doctors. 

I now visit the doctor about every three months. 

I've followed my doctors' instructions and taken the medications they've prescribed.

But I must admit that I'm still struggling with weight loss.

It's hard for me to stay consistent with my diet. 

My willpower fails me every once in a while.

I also can't seem to stop adding salt and other seasonings to some of the foods I enjoy.

Even though I know I should be avoiding them because of my high blood pressure.

That's why, during my last visit, when my doctor asked if I was avoiding adding salt to my food, I answered honestly.

"No, I have not."

He stared at me, astonished.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I'd rather die happy than live miserably."

Maybe I haven't matured as much as I think.

Louie Lou Media

I Didn't Get Another Day...

When I walked into his hospital room, I found him sleeping.

I stood beside his bed for a few minutes, quietly watching him breathe.

He looked peaceful, so I decided not to wake him with our usual handshake.

Instead, I grabbed a chair, pulled it to the foot of his bed, and sat down.

I sat there wondering, remembering, and wishing things could have been different between us.

Better between us.

I respected him. I appreciated him. I loved him.

But I wasn't sure if he knew any of that.

And if he didn't, I take full responsibility.

Our relationship could have been so much more than it was.

Instead, for many years, we allowed distance, silence, and sometimes coldness to define our relationship.

I remember one occasion when a mutual friend couldn't believe we were father and son. We were standing among a group of friends, yet we barely acknowledged each other.

We acted like complete strangers.

Imagine that. A father and son standing in the same room, surrounded by friends, yet behaving as though they had never met.

That should never have happened.

And once again, I take full responsibility for my part in it.

Thankfully, life eventually gave us an opportunity to reconnect.

For approximately three years, I had the privilege of driving my father to and from work.

Looking back, those car rides were a blessing.

We talked more. We laughed more. We got to know each other better.

And when his health began to decline, I became responsible for taking him to his doctor's appointments.

Those long drives and seemingly endless hours in doctors' waiting rooms gave us something we had wasted far too much of.

Time together.

We talked about life, family, and everything in between.

I genuinely enjoyed our conversations.

And somewhere along those drives and waiting-room visits, we began rebuilding a relationship that should never have fallen apart in the first place.

I couldn't help thinking about all the years we had wasted being distant.

All the conversations we never had.

All the memories we never made.

All the opportunities we allowed to slip away.

Then came the stroke.

It caught all of us by surprise.

My father had already endured more than his share of health problems.

He battled extremely high blood pressure and diabetes. He even fought prostate cancer and won.

But cancer wasn't finished with him.

It returned in another form, almost as though it wanted revenge for being defeated the first time.

This time, it was colon cancer.

The disease required extensive surgery, including the partial removal of his colon and the removal of his penis and rectum.

My father was a proud man. A hardworking man. A man who had spent his life providing for his family.

Now, he had to adjust to living with two medical bags attached to his body.

As if that weren't enough, he began suffering from recurring infections.

It seemed as though every time he overcame one medical challenge, another was waiting around the corner.

I often wondered why.

Why did a hardworking, dedicated family man have to endure so much suffering?

Why couldn't life give him a break?

Our relationship hadn't always been what it should have been, but one thing was certain.

My father didn't deserve any of what he was going through.

And there I was, sitting quietly at the foot of his hospital bed, watching him sleep.

Hoping he would wake up on his own.

Hoping we could have another conversation.

Another laugh.

Another moment together.

But he looked so peaceful.

And after everything his body had endured, I couldn't bring myself to disturb his rest.

So I sat there a little longer.

Thinking.

Remembering.

Regretting.

And wishing.

Eventually, I stood up, walked to his bedside, leaned over, and gently kissed him on top of his head.

Then I left.

I didn't wake him.

I didn't get to hear his voice that day.

We didn't share our usual handshake.

And we didn't have one more conversation.

I walked out of that hospital room believing there would be another opportunity.

Another visit.

Another conversation.

Another day with my father.

But the universe had other plans.

I didn't know that the quiet moments I had just spent sitting beside his bed would become some of my final memories of him.

And I certainly didn't know how much I would come to treasure them.

Looking back, I wish I had done some things differently.

I wish I had swallowed my pride sooner.

I wish I had made more of an effort.

I wish we hadn't allowed so much time to pass while behaving like strangers.

But wishing doesn't give us back yesterday.

And regret doesn't turn back the clock.

What I can do is appreciate the time we eventually shared and be grateful that we found our way back to each other before it was too late.

That experience taught me one of the most painful and valuable lessons of my life.

Don't assume there will always be another opportunity to make things right.

Don't allow pride, stubbornness, or old disagreements to steal precious years from the people you love.

Make the phone call.

Have the conversation.

Offer the apology.

Give the hug.

And most importantly, tell the people you love how much they mean to you while they're still here to hear it.

Because one day, you might walk into a hospital room believing you'll have another chance.

And discover, too late, that you've already had your last.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Louie Lou Media

Growing Old And The Change I Will Not Accept

I’m thankful to be alive at 58.

There was a time when I honestly didn’t think I would make it to 30.

So, believe me, I’m extremely grateful to still be above ground and that all my body parts are still functioning.

Sort of.

You see, my body has recently decided to betray me.

Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic.

Let's just say things aren't operating as efficiently as they used to. 

Apparently, my body's warranty expired, and nobody bothered to send me a renewal notice.

My eyesight isn't what it used to be, and neither is my hearing. 

Half the time, I can't see who's talking to me, and the other half, I can't hear what they're saying.

My knees and back constantly hurt for absolutely no reason.

And that's what bothers me the most!

I'm not exercising, lifting weights, running marathons, or doing anything remotely strenuous.

Apparently, just existing is now considered a physical activity.

And don't even get me started on sleeping!

Thanks to my enlarged prostate, I'm getting up to use the bathroom five times a night.

At this point, I should just move my bed into the bathroom and save myself the commute.

And then there's my marriage.

I used to enjoy sneaking up behind my wife to give her an unexpected hug, a kiss, or occasionally grab one of my favorite body parts of hers.

But apparently, those days are over.

Not because I've lost interest.

Oh, no!

It's because my bones have become a walking percussion section.

Every time I move, something cracks, pops, or snaps.

I sound like somebody stepping on a bag of potato chips.

I can't sneak up on my wife anymore. 

She hears me coming from three rooms away!

The truth is, I expected most of these changes to happen as I got older.

The aches, the pains, the bathroom visits, and the strange noises coming from my body.

I've made peace with it all.

Well, almost all of it.

Because there's one change that I absolutely REFUSE to accept.

UNEXPLAINED HAIR GROWTH!

What in the world is going on?!

I'm becoming a human Chia Pet!

Hair is suddenly growing in places where hair has absolutely no business growing.

Random patches are popping up on my body like weeds in an abandoned parking lot.

And my nose hairs?

Good grief!

I'm starting to look like I've got two tiny bushes growing out of my nostrils.

But the worst offender?

MY EYEBROWS!

Somehow, I've completely lost control of them.

One day, they're perfectly normal. 

The next day, I've got individual eyebrow hairs trying to reach my hairline.

I swear, one of them was long enough to comb over my bald spot!

And here's what really gets me.

The hair on my head is disappearing, but apparently, it's relocating to other parts of my body without my permission!

I didn't authorize this transfer!

Look, I can accept getting older.

I can accept the aches, the pains, the hearing problems, and the midnight bathroom marathons.

But I will NOT sit quietly while my eyebrows attempt to take over my face!

THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!

I've got tweezers, scissors, and a nose-hair trimmer, and I'm not afraid to use them.

WAR HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN DECLARED!

Louie Lou Media

Presenting Louie Lou Media...

 Hello,  thank you for visiting my blog.  I want to take a few minutes to tell you about myself and what to expect from this blog.  

I'm a writer, blogger, content creator, YouTuber, and entrepreneur.

I consider myself to be a friendly, lovable person.  To know me is to love me...at least, I think so.

I always try to maintain a positive attitude.  I do this because I truly believe it produces positive energy that creates positive results in life and in business.

I enjoy meeting people in person or through social media. 

As a matter of fact, when I meet someone for the very first time, I always make an effort to make that person feel like they've known me for many years.

On October 1st, I decided that I was going to start sharing my thoughts, opinions, and point of view on certain topics, news stories, social issues, and past and current events that I found interesting.

I launched my Louie Lou Media YouTube channel and this Louie Lou Media blog to document and share my thoughts and content.

Please feel free to subscribe to my Louie Lou Media YouTube channel and follow this blog. I would greatly appreciate it and would be honored if you do.

Because there's one thing I know for sure.

My best is yet to come!

Louie Lou Media